Losing Confidence

It's really easy to lose confidence when you are on a downswing. I need to get a ton more hands in before I know exactly what it means to be winning. Yea, I know I'm capable of winning but honestly every mistake you make is very costly. If I was to really rank myself I feel like I'm just a break even player, though I have some results to show that I am winning. It's just my perception definitely points to that I'm breaking even, if not slightly losing.

I'm always learning new things, I don't underestimate the fact that it'll probably take me a whole year before I become a consistent winning player. No one advice can alter this reality. It just takes a ton of hands to make very good decisions. And even when you learn something new, it's not necessarily +winrate until you completely master its application.

I think what is scary is that I feel like I'm standing on a thin wire, and any mistake will cause me to fall. This is just a feeling, it has nothing to do with bankroll or anything in reality. I know I'm playing pretty well, but it's hard when people are not paying me off as much as I seem to be paying off someone else. Obviously many players out there are just plain horrible but I feel like I'm making more mistakes than them. Umm.. That's a pretty scary thought.

One thing I noticed this session is that most of the value I got today was from deception and inducing bluffs(calling them down). I don't know if this is the road I need to take to be successful, because playing ABC just doesn't seem to work lately. Maybe I should be reading more deeply into the boards to know where a good bluff inducing opportunity is.